The Twelve Days of (Christmas) the Mayan Apocalypse

Since the world is ending in two weeks, I thought we should get started with our planning for what comes afterward. I’m not sure what will happen on December 21, so I’m going to offer up a number of scenarios to help you be prepared for whatever comes our way. Please join in and comment. It’s only fun if you play along.

Day 1: Kill All The Liars Lawyers, Politicians, and Lobbyists

Imagine the night of December 20th, a meteor crashes to earth in Washington, D.C.  and releases a deadly alien virus. The disease is quickly spread from politician to politician. Lobbyists, government hacks, and lawyers quickly pass the virus to everyone they come in close proximity to.

On December 21, in the middle of a press conference, Barack Obama drops dead.

The press corps that has worshipped him since before he was elected also dies. Even those guys from Fox News drop like flies.

All across the country, congressmen, mayors, even selectmen take a ride in the meat wagon. In the span of two days there is not a lawyer or elected government official alive anywhere on earth. The entirety of world governments are wiped out.

All the idiot actors who speak on behalf of politicians of any party get sick and die, too. Their money and fame can’t save them.

Every law and every legal document goes up in flames. Don’t ask me how a virus causes this, it’s very technical. Trust me the same way you trusted those creeps.

What now?

The only people left are the people those thieves were stealing from. So, in our new world, let’s try and come up with a system that protects the little guy.

Who do you nominate to lead the survivors?

(Preferably someone still alive on December 23rd.)

Bonus: propose a law in 50 simple words or less.

You’ll need something to do in the post-civilized world, so order one of my books while Amazon’s servers are still up and UPS is still delivering! Your money won’t be worth anything on December 22nd, so spend it while you can.

If you’ve never read me try: The End of Marking Time, Sin & Vengeance, or Dinner At Deadman’s. Or get a signed book and help needy kids at


52 Comments on “The Twelve Days of (Christmas) the Mayan Apocalypse”

  1. Sue says:

    If you are religious the law would be: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Or follow the medical oath – first, do no harm. Following those rules, we wouldn’t need anything else and this world would be a darned good place to live!

    • cjwestkills says:

      Thanks Sue! Words to live by.

      Who should be in charge? I like Bill Cosby. I’d pick that policeman from NYC last week, but all the cops and military are dead because they are part of the government.

      • Sue says:

        Besides the obvious choice, which would be myself (ahem!), I think I would choose Bill Watterson to be in charge because I love his view of the world.

      • cjwestkills says:

        One of us should be in charge, but not enough people know us to vote for us!

      • Kim Mullican says:

        Bill Gates, because (a) geeks should rule the world; and (b) because what he’s done for his own business shows he knows a thing or two about income vs. expenses.

      • cjwestkills says:

        We definitely need someone who can add and subtract. These other guys running things don’t seem to be able to do that.

      • Kim Mullican says:

        They don’t seem to be able to do much of anything.

      • All they do is make more and more laws. The more laws the less freedoms we have. i think the founders had it right. They had real jobs, most were farmers or magistrates or shop keepers, useful jobs.. They had 3 or 4 big pages the laws were written on. Not a whole giant library full of giant books full of laws. The fewer the laws the better. Also, the people in charge, after they get things organized should only run the country part time, none of this full time ruler stuff again. And remember there weren’t any income taxes until the 1900’s. They need to go back to not being paid to be our public servants. Perhaps we need more of a barter system rather than a money based system. 1. It will give people incentive to create a product or grow food, something worthy of trade. They will be less likely to be lazy. 2.. They might be less inclined to steal or get really rich. Wealth will no longer be available for greed. It will no longer be available for power over others. It will be harder to cause corruption. This will also get rid of the need for banks. No money, no taxes. No debt.

      • cjwestkills says:

        Some good points Ruth. The one I favor most is the simplification of our legal system. We are way too technical and specific with our legislation. It allows congress to bury things they don’t want us to see. The entire set of laws for the United States should be no more than 200 pages.

      • laraedo says:

        I could not agree more now a single bill at congress was reported to have over 800 pages and you know WHERE WORDS ARE MANY TRANSGRESSION IS NOT LACKING!!!!!!!!

      • cjwestkills says:

        So true. Any law over 3 pages must contain a whole lot of crap we aren’t supposed to know about.

      • Sue says:

        The only thing these guys who are running things are good at is spending money on running! If we made them use only limited free “equal time” air time they could spend those millions of contribution dollars on actually doing some good!

      • cjwestkills says:

        Couldn’t agree more Sue. With the Internet, we should be able to see their messages in a way that would allow us to know exactly where they stand AND compare how they govern to what they promised later on.

        We need some leaders focused on the NUTS AND BOLTS of running the country and not all this ideological BS.

    • I vote for Sue’s proposal.

  2. danjotay92 says:

    I like the idea of Bill Cosby but i say we put Michelle Duggar in charge. She’s run a home with 20+ kids, they live off their own earnings without any handouts and are truly nice people who are raising their kids to be good people.

    As far as a new law goes – i say we make it easier to sever parents rights when they’re undeserving and not taking good care of their kids and that the system to do that be a lot easier to navigate than they are now and be sped up. Working at a school for several years i am sick of seeing kids going without because their parents make bad choices.

    BTW not a fan of all the military being dead. My best friend is a Marine and he’s one of the best people i know.

    • cjwestkills says:

      Great idea. I hadn’t heard of Michelle Duggar, but I like what she is doing. GiftsToGive, a charity I support, has a focus on helping kids who are the victims of parents who make bad choices, too.

      Sorry about the cops and the military. I’m a big fan of the military too, but it is the end of the world. Bad things are bound to happen!

      • cjwestkills says:

        I hate when my vote gets lost.

        I saw somewhere how many generals backed Romney. It was ridiculously tilted, but then again the republicans always fund the military more than democrats so that makes sense.

      • danjotay92 says:

        I just realized my log in doesn’t show my name lol … it’s Theresa btw.

        I need to take a look at GiftstoGive, i will support anyone doing that kind of work.

      • cjwestkills says:

        Theresa, They do wonderful work. I wrote a blog about them last week. I also give them a portion of the books sold through my website.

      • danjotay92 says:

        I just read that post, they do awesome work i have bookmarked their page. Nice seeing you giving some of your time as well as your money. I wish more people would see the value in volunteering.

      • cjwestkills says:

        My experience with them began as research for the book. I’ve been going back because they do such great work and what they do is desperately needed.

      • Bill Cosby has died with the Actors, sadly so we can’t use him.

  3. 1wanderingtruthseeker says:

    Why have a leader at all? It seems to me that we would be rebuilding the same old problems.

  4. Lisa says:

    I wonder why we need to have anyone in charge? Why not arm everyone and let the chips fall where they may.

    • cjwestkills says:

      It wouldn’t be fair of me to speculate on laws because I know what is going to happen on MONDAY. Big changes are coming.

    • cjwestkills says:

      People have been saddened by some of the good people who died. Some preachers and other upstanding leaders.

      It is hard to find a true leader that isn’t squarely in the public eye and leading already.

      • Well, there will be chaos. It can not be helped. People will panic when there are no leaders. some are like sheep so they can not function with out their leaders. There may be looting and such if, as you say there are no police left. Are there firemen? They might be very busy. .Ministers and pastors maybe called into service.. No Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton types.or those political type ” pastors”.

      • cjwestkills says:

        Without leaders there will be chaos. I think leaders emerge from situations that are ambiguous and the group pauses for a decision to be made. The person with the decision that gets followed has gained some authority, however minor, and is on his or her way to being a leader whether that is an official position or not.

  5. alycianeighbours says:

    I would nominate the person who did the most to help others survive and who has no desire to lead or control. By “electing” a person like this we are basing it on actions and heart, rather than words and conceit. This person would be most likely to delegate leader positions to those who are trusted, proven and of the same heart.

    Law – You break it, you buy it. Includes but not limited to: people, property, minds, spirits and hearts. Prices to be determined by victim.

    *I may or may not have had too much coffee and rainbows today*

    • cjwestkills says:


      We need more coffee and rainbows especially during the apocalypse!

      I like your ideas. Our lives would be so much better if we operated with the simple “do unto others” mentality.

  6. Dawnna Hale says:

    Ha! Paul Harvey just came to mind, but he’s dead….. I’m not helping am I? Okay Denzel Washington! He’s a Christian and one of the most respected actors (we’ve certainly had those before!) and he looks tough like he could handle anything. The law would be “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, loving one another and avoiding animosity and dishonesty at all cost.

  7. You’d have to run one heck of a campaign!

  8. Kim Mullican says:

    First of all, you had me a kill all the lawyers. ❤ Since I divorced one, I'd like to see them all at the bottom of the ocean wearing concrete shoes.

    Second…you sneaky little bastard, I would not make a law, or enforce one, or rule over men. Then your nasty little virus would get me. Not so fast, Mister!

    I would live by one law – Shoot first, ask questions later.

  9. Ted Nugent should run the country. I realize that technically, he’s probably dead. But he’d teach people to be thrifty, live off the land and how to responsibly own a weapon. Plus, I think he’s so crazy he’d scare the hell out of our enemies.

    After decades of pampering our youth, I believe a new law should be: Mandatory Spanking for all naughty children, young and old. (Although I believe there are too many adults who would enjoy that.) Also no more fast food / prepackaged food. (Because if you can’t kill it or grow it, you shouldn’t eat it. Natural Selection will resolve our fat & lazy portion of the population. Only productive and intelligent members of society would survive.)

  10. laraedo says:

    what we must understand with a total systems breakdown scenario ,the world/country/state/ city or town would be along time to orginize. I would nominate some one with the personality of Bruce Willis’s charictor in diehard…. LAW Treat others as it would be reasonable to assume you would have them treat you. warning x2, 3rd banishment LAW one’s station is elivated by providing more service then one does consume at the cost of others. infractions will be adressed with sugested remidiation If ons does not contribute ALL VOTING AND INPUT into communityaffairs will be suspended

  11. kemmery says:

    The first law should be “shut up and get moving”.

    I’d hate to be in charge. No matter how good you are, someone, or a group of someones, will not get what they want, and dissent will start all over again. The next thing that you know, Glenn Beck is labeling you as the anti-christ.

  12. ellie mack says:

    Propose a law? Post apocolyptic society will have free reign and given access codes to Area 51, and launch codes for the alien vessels held intact for future evacuations. Said spacecraft contain dilithium crystals to maneuver; and the mines or moriority shall be opened to the general populous for excavations of said crystals. All government facilities shal be named as public domain, and elections shall be held in each precincts to nominate representatives for the regions. Representatives shall convene on Mondays in waht was formerly known as Washington DC to decide the fate of our nation and world while the general populous are given Mondays off to commemorate the loss of our previous politicians liars, lawyers, hollywood activists and recover from their hangovers. The first person to fly the spacecraft shall be voted as reigning president. The stash of twinkies shall be distributed to all survivors.

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